Month: March 2019

I’m married AF

Published on by angelaportLeave a comment

I’ve been married nearly half my life, coming up 20 years July 2019, so I feel somewhat qualified to talk about marriage. I can actually only really talk about my own marriage, because I have no idea how other couples navigate their own relationships, and quite frankly that really has nothing to do with me.

If you can’t be silly with your husband, who can you be silly with?

So what does marriage mean to me?

To me it means sharing my life with someone who I love.

To me it means that I will share the great experiences, the fun stuff, the adventures, the travel, the life-changing stuff (like the kid arriving and the raising of him) and the silly conversations, it also means that he’ll be there for the not so great things too, like sickness, like grumpy days, like depression, like those times when things don’t turn out the way you wanted them too. He’ll be there for those times, when I can’t make up my mind what I want to eat, when I really want to figure out how to do something myself and get frustrated when I need to ask for help, and when I make less than stellar decisions, and I need him to help me pick up the pieces. For me it doesn’t mean that I become one with him, because literally I’m not sure how that would happen, and I’m my own person, always have been, always will be, just like he is. It also doesn’t mean that I love everything little thing about him, because there are definitely things about him, that absolutely drive me up the wall, and I’m sure there are things that he is not so enamoured by me either, but it does mean that I love his vibe, I love his values, and his outlook on life.

Port Whanau

For me it means that we’ll dig in deep when the sh#t hits the fan, because we’re both committed to making this work. It means that we always love hard, but that we love harder when things are not quite as amazing as they can be. It means that I can be completely honest with him, about how I’m feeling about all the things, because that is what he signed on for. It also means that I will stop and listen to him when he needs to off load. It means that I can’t promise to fix all the things that are wrong, but that I will always be there to help him figure it out, and then cheer him on. It means that I honour and respect myself, and know that occasionally I need time to myself to work on myself, to help me grow into the person I need to be and that I know he needs time to follow his own passion, whatever that looks like.

It means knowing that I will continue to love him, in all the different forms he will encompass throughout our lives together, just as I hope he will for me. Because we are definitely not the same people we were when we stood before each other, and our friends and family and promised to love each other on our wedding day.

And frankly I can’t think of a better person to share this crazy thing called life with!

Banish the word should from wedding planning

Published on by angelaportLeave a comment

The word “should” it’s quite a small word, quite simple, but it has the power to make you reassess your ideas about what you and your partner want your wedding day to look and feel like.

It has the power to create arguments and resentment between you and your family and/or bridal party.

It has the power to make you spend way more money than you actually need and/or want to.

It has the power to make you feel like you’re not good enough, or your wedding isn’t going to be good enough.

So let’s remove the word ‘should’ and give yourself the freedom to use the word ‘could’ instead!

How to be the most awesome wedding guest ever.

Published on by angelaportLeave a comment

How to be the most awesome wedding guest ever!

To be invited to a wedding is an absolute honour and privilege, it is absolutely not a give in, just because you’re the bride’s best friend’s mother’s brother, and it should be treated as such!
There are some things that will make you the absolute best wedding guest ever!
*Never assume you will be invited (and don’t hassle the bride) there are so many factors that go into planning a wedding (budget, venue, location) that not everyone will be invited.
*Always RSVP, this is one of the hardest parts of planning a wedding, co-ordinating the RSVP’s, so make the brides day by yes’ing or no’ing as soon as you can.
*Don’t ask to bring a plus one, if it hasn’t been stipulated on the invitation for you to bring one.
*Adhere to the dress code – there are only two occasions in life where dressing up is required, weddings and funerals, so honour the occasion, by leaving the tracksuits and crocs at home and donning a suit or appropriate dress.
*Arrive on time – don’t make the bride wait because you’re late, don’t be the person creeping in at the back late. If you’re not sure where you’re going beforehand, google it and download the map!
*Don’t take photos, especially if you’re told by the celebrant etc not to. Some occasions in life don’t need to be seen through the lens of a phone or ipad!
*Don’t think that you’re the funniest person alive by mentioning to the groom when he’s waiting for the bride “it’s not too late to run” it is possibly the most disrespectful thing to say at the wedding.
*Don’t get stinking drunk and hit on every one with a pulse.
*Dont spend the whole wedding reception on your phone, not engaging with the other guests.
Be excited to be in a space where love is honoured and act accordingly.