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Port Molyneux School

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All you need is love and … a beautiful new wedding venue.

Feast your eyes on the beautiful Port Molyneux School

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The stunning new venue: Port Molyneux School.  All Photos by Williams Photography

A few weeks ago I attended the official opening of a brand new venue. I knew it was going to be awesome, partly because of the location (hello, stunning Kaka Point, Catlins!) and partly because I had met Jade (the director and visionary behind the venue) and her enthusiasm and positivity for the whole project was infectious (definitely my kind of people)

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That view from the school room, breathtaking!

Jade and her family rescued the “Port Molyneux School” from ruin, after coming across it by accident, and realising that it was for sale. She could see the potential of the location (right across the road from the beach) and for a venue in the area, because her husband and her  had struggled to find a suitable venue in the area, when they got married.

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Gorgeous buttonholes by Twigs n Twine Blooms/Design and Events

So after a lot of blood, sweat, tears and restoration work, the venue was open to the public for the first time, and it is beautiful!!! The character of the place is still in tact but it has been bought into this century with a lot of love and care, and has everything you could need to hold the wedding of your dreams.

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Night time lighting

The school rooms have been lovingly restored and are a blank canvas, as either a ceremony space area, for after wedding cocktails or sit down reception space. They feature wooden floors, and beautiful windows letting in an abundance of natural light and views across the road to the ocean. There is of course ‘boys’ and ‘girls’ toilets (apparently part of the bathroom decor is original) and a fully equipped kitchen for event catering.

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Perfect spot for an indoor ceremony.

Part of the hire of the venue includes the use of the headmasters house, a stones throw along a stone path from the main building. This 3 bedroom house has been fully restored and decorated and has everything you would need to spend your wedding night in absolute bliss.  The section the venue is on is large enough and flat enough to be used by your guests if they wanted to camp for the night also. On the open day Tussock Country had set up one of their luxury camping tents, and it was amazing, so much more civilised than a pup tent and a sleeping bag.

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Now this is camping, or should I say Glamping by Tussock Country

Outside the school at the front, there is a beautiful spot which has been specially created  to accommodate outside weddings, there is a mantle and seating. This all coming together to create a perfect spot with the ocean roaring in the background to exchange your wedding vows.

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The outdoor ceremony space.
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Who wouldn’t want their wedding photos taken in this spot?

The Port Molyneux School is not just available for weddings, but any occasion that requires a unique and beautiful setting. Now I just need someone to get married there so I can visit this beautiful spot again, but as a celebrant.

Find out more about this very special wedding venue.

Jade McNab +64 (0) 21 1202 722  or jade@portmolyneuxschool.co.nz

portmolyneuxschool.co.nz/

 

 

Engaged to Married – August/September

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All you need is love and … and update on Sharmain and Jeremy.

We’re now on the home stretch, we have less than 100 days to go, so everything is ramping up. The last two months have been very busy with lots of organising, and finalising, but there’s still the little details to go.

Bridesmaid dresses have been purchased and they have arrived, and the girls will all be together to try them on in the next couple of weeks, with possible alterations being scheduled closer to the wedding date.

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Wedding dress and bridesmaid dresses.

The cute flower girl and ring bearer outfits have also been purchased.

There will be gorgeous wedding favours (which have now been paid for) for the guests and other little bit and pieces to personalise the day.

The table centerpieces are being finalised and finished, just need a bit more tweaking to make them perfect.

Wedding rings have been chosen and paid for, and are now tucked away in a safe place away from the dog.

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Ring boxes minus the rings, that have been tucked away for safe keeping.

I spent some time transferring everything into clear plastic tubs, so it’s all together in one place and easily transported, and more importantly away from the dog.

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Plastic clear boxes are a life saver for keeping everything together.

We had our second meeting with our awesome celebrant, we now have a better idea on the structure of our ceremony. She asked us a lot of questions, which she will use to personalise our ceremony, that’s what we love about her style of ceremony. We also have some ideas for writing our own vows, which we will keep secret from each other until the ceremony, something to look forward to on the day. She also gave us information on obtaining our marriage licence (an essential part of the day!!) and we are nearly  within the 3 month time period to obtain this. (Awesome celebrant has just about finished your ceremony, you should have it in a couple of days, whoop, whoop!!)

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We have our final meeting with our photographer in a couple of weeks.

Invites have been sent, and we are now just waiting for the RSVP’s to come back in.

It feels good to have all the big things ticked off, but now it’s time for all the finalising (caterers, RSVPs) and all the fiddly little jobs (centerpieces, finishing DIY projects)

It’s getting really exciting now it’s less than 100 days to go.

 

When to say no, when to compromise and when to go with the flow.

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All you need is love and …to learn when to say no, when to compromise and when to go with the flow.

When I sat down to research and write this piece, it became apparent to me that the principles for the successful navigation of the wedding planning process and  successfully navigating marriage are quite similar. Although I have yet to find a need for a seating chart in my marriage, and 17 years in I don’t think there will ever be a need for one, so in that respect they are different. So while you are reading this piece, be mindful that you can take some of the advice and apply it to marriage as well as wedding planning.

Wedding planning is hard, this we know. In fact if anyone says to you “Oh I loved every minute of planning my wedding, it was all so much fun” they are lying. They are a big fat liar McLiarsons.

With my experience in the wedding industry, and the many articles I’ve read, blog posts I’ve perused and Facebook rants I’ve been privy to, the number one issue couples (well let’s be honest, mostly brides) have is every man and his dog seems to have an opinion on how you should plan your wedding.

So with that in mind I’ve put together some tips for how to handle those sticky situations and those well-meaning friends and family (who we know only want to help) during the wedding planning process.

Come up with a budget, and stick to it – When you first start planning your wedding, you need to sit down together and have a conversation about money (I know boring as hell, but so important) You both need to decide on how much you can realistically spend on your wedding day, and what type of wedding you want. Is it going to be all out, over the top, dream wedding, or maybe something a little more scaled back? This will help you make all the big decisions (venue, photographer etc) when you know exactly how much you’ve got to spend on each element. Having a set budget means that you also have a good excuse to say ‘no’ to suggestions “Sorry I really can’t incorporate those swans  you really want into the wedding Great Aunty Fanny. I can’t afford it!” Soz not soz!

Make sure you’re both on the same page – Make sure you both converse about what’s important to you for the big day. Are there some non-negotiable items that you must have or that are priorities to you? For example, he may be a big fan of a particular type of car and really want those as the wedding cars, where you couldn’t care less what type of cars you arrive in. So you budget for those cars, and if someone offers their opinion on another type of car, you can say ‘no’. If you are both on the same page you will be in a better position  when people start questioning or offering their opinions. You will know exactly what the other person thinks and wants and can stick together.

Make sure your partner will back you up – Weddings and wedding planning can bring out the worst in people. A lot of people in your lives will have set opinions, whether solicited or not, on your wedding plans. If you’ve already had the discussion about the budget and your priorities, then you’re in good shape.  You also need to know that your partner will back you up if/when you have to say ‘no’ to a suggestion. Also be aware that some people will go for  the “divide and conquer” technique, where they will offer their suggestion on you first and if you say ‘no’ then they will try your partner. But once again if you both know the plan and know that you both  have each other’s back then you’ll come out on top.

Stick up for what’s important to you – It’s your wedding day, you get to do it your way. If there is something that you really want (priorities and non-negotiable items) and someone questions your decision then make sure you stick up for what’s important.  You don’t want to look back on your wedding day with regret on something that you gave up to keep someone else happy.

Don’t be emotionally black-mailed, especially by family – Split families can be  a hotbed for emotional blackmail (the whole if he’s coming then I’m not type of childish behaviour, can rear it’s ugly head) Make sure all your family members know that you will not be held to ransom on your wedding day. Remind them that it is your day, and that they need to ‘pull their heads in’ and if they can’t then maybe they should not come.  You’ll find nine times out of ten, they will start behaving. No-one wants to miss a wedding.

Every-ones on the same page – If your parents or other relatives are financially contributing to the wedding then you need to have discussions at the beginning with them all about your plans. There can be times when their money will come with strings attached ( an example: if they are paying for flowers, then they want to pick the flowers) and if you’re all good with that, then great, if not then you need to discuss and come to a compromise. I know, maybe easier said than done, just make sure they know how much you appreciate their contribution, but, that you have your hearts set on your plans. And if they still won’t play ball, then you need to decide if the money they are contributing is  worth all the hassle.

What can you let go of – There may be times where you just need to let go of some of the control or your expectations and go with some-one else’s idea to keep the peace. But only if it’s something that is not one of your priorities. For example one bride let her mother in law choose and order the wedding favours, because it kept her involved (and happy) and it wasn’t really a priority for the bride. Win, win I say!

Remember what’s important -You love each other. You  are choosing to share your love story and commitment with your friends and family on your special day.

 

How to travel together without killing each other!

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All you need is love and … some advice for travelling together.

They (I’m not sure who ‘they’ are but you know who I mean) think there are certain things that you should do as a couple before you get married to test whether this is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.  The list includes using a slow internet connection, untangling Christmas tree lights, putting together flat pack furniture and travel.

I’m a huge fan of travel, whether it’s just a weekend away some where close or a huge overseas blow out, I’m in, all in, every time!  Travelling has a way of broadening your mind I know it’s cliche but it’s so true. It allows you to see how others live, different cultures, landscapes and people. It also has the ability to show you so many more sides to your mate. So along with a heck of a lot of reading on the topic and my travel experiences with my darling husband, I’m come up with some thoughts and advice on travelling with your partner.

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New Zealand to Hong Kong  March 2016 Yay!!

You will learn so much more about your partner – Travelling takes you out of your comfort zone, both as an individual and as a couple. It opens your eyes up to the world around you.  It forces you to engage with other cultures, foods and etiquette. All of which may be scary, and new and different, and exciting and tiring and fun. It has the ability to show you how your partner deals with frustration and being tired and hungry.

One of the biggest challenges will be spending all of your time together – My husband and I are not the type of people who need to spend every minute together, in fact we start getting on each others nerves after a long weekend together.  It has taken us a long, long time of both marriage and travelling together to figure this out about ourselves and to know that it’s OK.  We make sure we have some down-time (alone time) when we travel, some-times it’s just having a few hours of time apart to wander around, or even if it’s just putting the headphones on and reading a magazine in another room.  It stops us from annoying each other, and it absolutely works for us.

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Hong Kong to Beijing, China.

Compromise – Like relationships full stop, travel requires compromise.  It requires knowing what each other wants to do and not do and then making a decision and itinerary based on making sure you both get a bit of what you want. Example, just over 10 years ago (before our son was born) we planned a 5 week overseas trip (both of us had regrets over not having done our OE when we were younger, so decided to go for it together, before we started a family) we each had a list of places we wanted to visit on our trip, so we had to compromise and make decisions so each of us got what we wanted.

Communication – Keeping the lines of communication open when travelling is essential.  You need to voice your opinion, you need to be able to say when you’re not happy, talk it through and then let it go, otherwise it’s going to be a long, long trip.

Manage expectations – Take some time before your trip to talk about your expectations for the trip.  How do you see yourselves spending your time, are you going to be up at the crack of dawn, and going all day, or are you going to be lounging by the pool all day?

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Cruising the river in Vietnam.

Budget – The dreaded B word. What are you willing to splurge on, and what are you happy to save on. Do you want 5 star hotel rooms, but eat cheap street food, or do you want to spend the dollars doing all the tourist things, or just wander around town and soak up the (free) atmosphere.

Each others schedules – Are you an early riser and he prefers to sleep in? Then you’re going to have some trouble and arguments, unless you have a conversation about it and manage your schedules.  This is where that magic word “compromise” comes into play, and managing your expectations.

Eat before you get “hangry” – I think this advice has the potential to save many a relationship in any situation, not just travel.

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Great Wall of China ticked off the bucket list.

Travelling together will definitely strengthen your relationship, it will help you to accept each other as you are warts and all (and you will probably see all the warts, and dodgy tummies and stinky feet, when you travel together). You will get an insight into your partners ‘preparation style’ my husband and I have completely different ‘preparation styles’ when it comes to travel, I pack about 2 weeks ahead of time and think of every possible scenario I will need to pack for, and probably pack too much, he on the other hand packs about 2 hours before we leave, by just randomly throwing things into the suitcase, and then forgetting essentials, which we inevitably  end up having to buy while overseas, which may not sound that bad, until you are scouring the streets of Hong Kong for deodrant (tip – it’s very, very hard to find)

The more you travel together the more of a team/unit you will become, you will become more efficient together, and learn which of you is better at holding the passports and who can read maps better. I always hold the passports and tickets and he deals with the suitcases.

Travelling together allows you to create fantastic life-long memories together.  And you’ll have so many of those “Remember when we saw that thing in that place” conversations (that is actually how we start a lot of your conversations, but they may be more about old age than anything else)

There’s nothing quite like experiencing a new place with a loved one.

 

 

 

 

 

How to include your children in your wedding ceremony.

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All you need is love and … a way to include your children in your wedding ceremony.

As a celebrant, I find a large percentage of the couples I marry already have children, either together or they are blending two families when they marry.  Most couples want a way to include or at the very least acknowledge their children in their wedding ceremony.  Here’s a list of some of the different ways you can do this.

Bridesmaids or groomsman – you can include your children, depending on their age as a bridesmaid or groomsman/best man.  This type of role is best suited to a child who understands what’s going on, and can stand still long enough.

Unity ceremony – the whole idea behind a unity ceremony is the joining together of (usually two) people, but it’s an awesome way to incorporate your children into the ceremony. You could preform a sand ceremony (where you pour different coloured sands into a vessel) or a candle ceremony ( where you each light a central candle with a smaller candle)

Write children into vows – Use the platform of your vows to include a mention to your children. I like to use the I Do’s part and write a portion about supporting the other person to be the best mum/dad to your child. It’s a very effective way to make a small acknowledgement of the children if that’s what you’re going for.

Walk down the aisle – You can have your children walk down the aisle with you. If your children are older they could actually do the ‘giving away’ part, or if they are smaller they could just walk hand in hand with you.

Reading or poem – Depending on the child’s age and confidence level, you could ask them to perform a reading or poem, or ask them to write a poem themselves to read out at the wedding.

Flower girl/Ring bearer – Little people are super cute as flower girls or ring bearers.

Vows – There are numerous examples of children saying vows as well as the couple. Again the decision should be based on age, and their understanding of the wedding process.  It could be as simple as a question and the child simply saying “I Do” or in the case of a blended family, the step parent saying vows or promises to the child.

Picking the ring, or helping plan the proposal – Depending on the age of the child, you could include them in the picking of the engagement ring, or involve them in the planning and execution of the proposal.  Just make sure they can keep a secret.

Invite them to join the first dance – Ask your children to join you a little bit after the first dance starts, super cute.

Sign the marriage certificate – Your children can sign the marriage certificate, as long as they understand entirely what they are signing.  If you don’t think they are quite age appropriate to do that, you can ask your celebrant to produce a family certificate (not legal) and all sign that on the day as well.

Hand fasting ritual – Include your children in a hand-fasting ritual, as part of the ceremony.

Exchange gifts with children – You can exchange rings with your children as well as your husband/wife or another piece of jewellery altogether, maybe a necklace or pendant or a signet ring.  I do know of a couple who had 4 rings made, and the children’s rings fit into adults rings, very cool.

Handing out ceremony booklets – Use children to hand out ceremony booklets or bubbles or confetti to guests before the ceremony starts, and usher people to their seats.

Play music – If your child is a talented musician, ask them to showcase their musical abilities before the ceremony begins.

Getaway car – Ask them to help decorate the getaway car, you know the deal, tin cans, streamers, ‘just married’ sign.

Photographer in training – Give them a cheap camera, with a strap for added security, and ask them to take photos after the ceremony and during the reception.  You’ll be amazed at the shots you’ll get, and you’ll see the celebration from their point of view.

Just remember to think about the age of the child, what are they going to be able to handle on the day? What type of personality do they have, are the super confident or very shy? Are they liable to say something inappropriate at the wrong time? Also think about to what extent you want to include your children.  Some couples just want a small mention of their children in the ceremony, and the rest focused on them as a couple committing, while others want to include the children saying vows to the family unit as well. Your celebrant should be able to point you in the right direction, and give you lots of options.

Remember as always that it is your day, and to do it your way.

 

 

What is a naming ceremony?

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All you need is love and … a naming ceremony.

 

As a celebrant I am able to perform many different types of ceremonies, and as well as wedding ceremonies I am also available to conduct naming ceremonies.  Back the truck up, but what is a naming ceremony? How does it all happen? Sounds like fun! How do I go ahead with it?

What is a naming ceremony? A naming ceremony is a non-religious celebration of the arrival of a new child, a way to introduce him/her to family and friends. It is usually organised by parents who want to mark their child’s arrival with a celebration, but in a non-religious way.

Is a naming ceremony legal? A naming ceremony is a private occasion, so there is no legal status to the ceremony.  It is not the same as legally registering a child’s birth through Births/Deaths and Marriages.

Who can have a naming ceremony?  Naming ceremonies are appropriate for any age, a new baby, and adopted child or uniting step children, or even a adult name change.

Where can we have a naming ceremony? Naming ceremonies can be performed anywhere, as long as you have the permission of the owner. Popular spots are homes, parks, halls.

What kinds of things are included in a naming ceremony? The sky is the limit for this one, because it is not a legal ceremony, there are no real “have-to’s” attached to the process so there are lots of ideas, including poems, readings, quotes, time capsule, tree planting, candle lighting, wish making, video for guests, wishing well cards etc.  Your celebrant will be able to point you in the right direction and offer you heaps of ideas to make your ceremony perfect

I don’t know of any quotes or readings I want. Do I have to have them? No, your child’s naming ceremony will be completely unique to your family, so if you’ve not sure about poems or readings then you don’t have to have them. Your celebrant will be able to share with you some appropriate examples of readings, if you do want to include one but aren’t sure where to start.

I want to include my child’s grandparents.  Is there a way to do this? Absolutely.  I recognise the importance of a child’s extended family, and there are many different ways we can recognise, acknowledge and include any of the extended family into a naming ceremony.

When can we have a naming ceremony? There is no time limit for when you can hold a naming ceremony for your child. A lot of families combine the first birthday and naming ceremony.  It’s a great way to have a double celebration at a time when you may have gathered friends and family together already.  Some couples like to wait until the first few months are out of the way, when things are a little more settled in the family.  Older children also love to have a day of celebration all about them, so any age is fine.

Does it matter if I’m a single parent/we’re not married or a same sex couple?  Absolutely not! I’d be delighted to be involved in helping any parent or couple celebrate and mark their new arrival.

A naming ceremony sounds right up my alley. But I hate public speaking, as a parent do I have to say anything? Most naming ceremonies do actually include the parents making some kind of commitment or promise to the child. However if you would prefer not to speak there are definitely ways around it.  For example you could do a “we promise” answer after the celebrant has read your promises.

How much work will I have to do to organise the naming ceremony? I completely understand that first year brain fog of child-rearing.  So much like a wedding ceremony I will come and visit you at your place, no need to drag your family out to see me. We will discuss what your thoughts are, I will offer suggestions and examples, ask you a whole lot of questions, and then head off and write you a naming ceremony.  I will send this to you to take a look at, we will fine-tune it, and then that will be what is performed on the day.  I will have all the props and tools for the day with me, so you don’t have to remember to bring anything with you. My aim is for it to all go smoothly, well as smoothly as a ceremony involving a small child can (I know they can be unpredictable) and for you as parents to totally enjoy the experience and day.

Is there any way to add a  momento of the day? I have totally customisable certificates that parents and guide-parents can sign on the day as a keepsake of the special day, for the child to treasure in days ahead.

How is a naming ceremony structured? Below is a loose structure for a naming ceremony, of course everything is customisable to the family.

  • Introduction and welcome to guests
  • Reading or poem
  • Information about the child – their arrival, personality, traits so far
  • Words about the importance and responsibility of parenting
  • Parental promises to the child
  • Reading or poem
  • Importance of wider family in the child’s life (grandparents/cousins/aunts etc)
  • Appointment of guideparents/mentors/support/godparents
  • Guideparents promises
  • Reasons for choice of name
  • The naming itself
  • Concluding words

If the idea of a naming ceremony sounds like the perfect way for you to celebrate the arrival of a new member of you family, then get in touch and we can discuss the best way to mark your new arrival. And of course you can include cake and wine!

The most over-looked part of wedding planning.

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All you need is love and … a great wedding ceremony.

“It doesn’t really matter” “Don’t make it too long, I don’t want the guests to get bored” “It’s not the most important part of the day” “Just make it short, so we can start drinking”

All statements I’ve heard or seen when talking about planning the actual wedding ceremony. Which kind of breaks my heart a little bit every time.  Now I’ve said this before, and, I may be slightly biased based on the fact that I’m a celebrant and am lucky enough to help couples on their wedding planning journey. But time and time again I hear about people who have the entire wedding planned out, either in real life or on Pinterest, but have not had a single thought about the actual ceremony.  And to a degree I get that. Often when I meet couples we establish that they are in the camp of “we’ve never done this before and we don’t know what we’re doing” and that’s cool, because that is where a awesome celebrant will hold your hand (figuratively, not actually, well maybe if you’re really nervous) and explain the options and the process and the importance of your wedding ceremony.

Your wedding ceremony should set the tone for your entire wedding day. It is in fact the party starter.  Way back in the day, wedding ceremonies had to follow a certain script, and they were all pretty much the same.  You said exactly what the officiant wrote for you. I can imagine that not a lot of brides and grooms can even remember what they said to each other. But times have changed, big time. Couples have so much more say in what they want to include as part of their ceremony, and I for one am excited about this.  There are so many different ways you can structure your ceremony, and so many different elements you can include. It definitely gives a couple more control and choice to help their celebrant create their perfect ceremony. If you are serious and believe that a wedding should be a restrained and solemn occasion and want a ceremony that reflects that, then great, you can absolutely have that, and you need to choose a celebrant who can deliver that. If the two of you have any interesting, quirky or fun elements to your relationship then I believe it is your responsibility and right to roll in that direction.  A ceremony should reflect your different personalities and your relationship together. I believe if you do not have a ceremony that reflects you two together then you are doing a dis-service to your guests, and to yourselves.  You do not want your guests to walk away from your ceremony thinking “what on earth was that. I don’t even know who the celebrant was talking about!” So in saying that no two wedding ceremonies should be the same, (except for the legal parts that have to be done) and if your celebrant is just going to ‘cut and paste’ your ceremony then find another celebrant.  You, your guests and your love deserve a personalised and original wedding ceremony.

Yes I understand the wedding ceremony, can be uncomfortable, and for most people it is the most nerve-wracking part of the day. Of course it’s not everyday that you share a piece of your heart with your loved one and your friends and family. And I know that public speaking is not every-ones cup of tea.  But in saying that how many times in your life will you be able to make such a grand gesture and acknowledge all the reasons you love  your partner and share your promises for the future, to them, and your friends and family?  I believe it’s an extremely memorable and emotional act of love, and should be treated as such.

Yes wedding planning can be fun. It can be so exciting to choose the dress and the colours, and the table decorations and share the experience with your girlfriends or your mum.  I also know for some people (mainly brides) it can become all consuming.  It can literally take over your life.  It is also really easy for a couple to lose sight of what the day is really about.  It is about celebrating your love story.

When you are getting married you are committing to your loved one  for the rest of your lives.  You are making declarations to each other in front of your family and friends that you will love each other, despite the fact that she wears leopard print a little too much, and he always leaves his shoes in the middle of the doorway. You are becoming a team, where you know the other person will always have your back.  And if that is not worth focusing on and totally celebrating then I don’t know what is!

 

I Love You

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All you need is love and … creative ways to say I Love You.

 

Falling in love can be relatively easy, staying in love can be a little harder. Sometimes life happens and gets in the way, and it’s easy to take each other for granted and not put the effort in. It’s important to show  your loved one how important they are to you, and it doesn’t need to be extravagant (sky sign-writing) or expensive (round the world trips) Below is a list of cute, creative and inexpensive ways to show that special someone how much you love them.

1 Mixed tape (or CD or USB stick) – use a selection of your and their favourite songs.

2 Go screen free – set up a media free day/evening/time and just be present.

3 Plan a surprise date – maybe take them back to where you first met.

4 Hand made card – nothing beats hand-made with love.

5 Freshly baked cookies.

 

6 Love letter – a hand-written love letter never goes out of style.

7 Mirror message – write a message in the steam on the bathroom mirror.

8 Lunch love note – slip a little love note into their lunch box.

9 Make their lunch for them.

10 Flowers – you can never go wrong with flowers.

11 Breakfast in bed – surprise your loved one with breakfast in bed.

12 Funny video – send them a funny video/meme or youtube video.

13 Cook dinner – surprise them with their favourite dinner.

14 Early morning text – Text a sneaky cute ‘good morning. I love you’ text.

 

15 Cute photo – send them a photo of the two of you together.

16 Ask how their day was – and actually listen.

17 Let them pick the movie.

18 Teach them how to do something you love – share your passion, and be patient.

19 Walk on the beach together – build sandcastles, write you names in the sand.

20 Go window shopping together – pretend you’re mega rich and can buy anything.

21 Write them a poem – not all poems need to rhyme.

22 Take a bath together – bubbles, wine, candles.

 

23 Go for a park up – find a secluded spot with a great view and enjoy a picnic in the car.

24 Back row at the movies – sit in the back row of the movies and snuggle.

25 Fill up the car – fill up their car for them as a surprise.

26 NSFW text – send them a little X rated text.

27 Board-games – play a favourite board-game together.

28 Favourite magazine – buy the latest issue of their favourite magazine.

29 Dessert – pick up dessert on the way home, even if it’s a magnum ice-cream.

30 Toothpaste – put toothpaste on their toothbrush for them.

31 Post it note – use a post it note to send them a sweet message, on their steering wheel.

Remember it’s the thought that counts, not how expensive it is. So go forth and spread that love around all over the show.

Letter to a bride on her wedding day.

Published on by angelaportLeave a comment

All you need is love… and a letter full of marriage advice.

 

I have a niece who’s getting married, and that made me think about what advice I would give her (or any bride) about to embark on the road to marriage. I’m a huge advocate of marriage, I’m a wedding celebrant for petes sake. I adore seeing a couple flush with love, ready to embark on the next chapter of their lives as husband and wife, so I support marriage whole-heartedly, but I also know that it’s not always plain sailing. With that in mind I thought I would share some of my own thoughts on marriage (of course it’s not a ‘how-to’ guide to being married, because I have made my fair share of mistakes, just ask my patient husband) I’ve been married myself for 17 years, so while I haven’t made it to the 46 years of my in-laws, I think I have a reasonable grasp on the whole being married thing, and thought I’d share my musings.

It’s bloody hard work

and anyone who tells you it’s easy and they never fight, is lying!  And anyone who has been married to the same person for any length of time will probably agree with me.

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My wedding day 17 July 1999
  • You will love them, but may not like them all of the time. Yes of course you love them, but there will be times when they will annoy the crap out of you.  Times when you need to leave the house because you fear you may ‘accidentally’ stab them in the face with a fork.  And that’s OK. The leaving the house, not the stabbing them.
  • You will not agree with them all the time, but it is how you deal with a disagreement that  matters.
  • You will need to compromise, a lot. And that’s OK, as long as you’re both  getting some of the good stuff.
  • You will argue, a lot. But once again it is how you deal with the argument, and talk it through, and resolve it that matters. And ‘better living’ tip: you need to resolve the argument, otherwise it will continue to rear it’s ugly head sporadically. Of course not all arguments can be resolved over a cup of coffee, but you need to realise when you need a second opinion, or professional help.
  • You will both change.  Of course you will, you are not the same person you were 5/10 years ago, and neither is your husband, and you won’t be the same person in 5/10 years from now.
  • Communication, communication, communication. It is key, you need to keep talking.
  • There will be times when one of you is strong, and will need to take the lead, and the other is weak, and needs to be cared for, and then it will change.  Being married, in my opinion, means that you know the other person always has your back.
  • Kids will change everything.  Of course they will, how can they not. They come into your nice, settled, comfortable, disposable income filled life and turn it upside down. Don’t get me wrong I love our kid, but it can be very stressful and taxing on a relationship to have this other little person, who takes up so much of your time, money and attention.
  • Pick your battles. You’ll get sick of the sound of your own voice if you nag about everything that the other person does that drives you crazy. Just focus on the things that you can’t overlook. See the section on compromise.
  • You need to maintain your own life outside of the marriage.  It’s important to maintain friendships, hobbies, interests etc that are separate to your partner.  It helps keep your own identity, and gives you something to talk about at the end of the day.
  • Everyone brings baggage to the marriage. Everyone has a life before they get married, and depending on your past relationships and family dynamics, everyone has ‘stuff’ and it can be challenging to sort out how your new family is going to work.  Marriage is essentially asking two different people from different backgrounds to come together and live their lives together.  Of course it’s not going to be seamless.
  • Your marriage needs to be a priority in your life.  It is so easy to get complacent, and busy and not put the effort in.  But if you don’t tend to your marriage it will not work.
  • Marriage is not the same for everyone.  It is not a one size fits all.  You do not have to have a marriage like the Jones’s. You need to negotiate what works for you both, your happiness and your family. Marriage is not a noun, it is a verb, it is constant work, and change and discussion and negotiation.
  • There will be times when you think ‘what the hell have I done?’ but you work through it and come out the other side.

  • Marriage is awesome If you pick the right person, you will have a friend that you can laugh with, love with, have adventures with. Someone who will challenge you, help you to grow, and help make you a better version of yourself. 

I’m keen to hear what your advice to a bride on her wedding day would be.  Is there anything I missed?

Some Lovely Things

Published on by angelaportLeave a comment

All you need is love and … some lovely things.

A curated list of things, people and places I’ve discovered this week that I love.

Bridal Headpieces

I have been lusting over  these gorgeous bridal headpieces all week.  If you want something a little bit different from the traditional veil option for your wedding headwear then these pieces totally fit the bill.  ‘Shut the front door’ create these completely original bridal headpieces and other beautiful headpieces for other events.They are truly stunning, and would add that ‘wow’ factor to your wedding day outfit.  Check out www.shutthefrontdoor.com.au for more beautifulness.

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The stunning Aurora Wings piece.
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The Bijou piece

The Penguin and the Stone

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Look, they even look like they’re holding hands.

I was reminded of this cute story during the  week, by a friend of mine.

After a long winter, the Adelie penguins make their way to their mating grounds throughout the area of coastal Antarctica. The male and female penguins strut and bray, a little bit like the guys at the pub on a Friday night, hoping to attract the attention of another Adelie penguin. When a special (read: attractive) penguin catches their eye, the Adelie penguin presents the other penguin with a stone. If the penguin accepts the stone, they start a bond for life. Each new spring, the courtship continues, the couples find each other again; and again, a new stone is presented as a token of affection. The penguin pair continues to gather stones for their nest, looking for each precious stone in the frozen ground.  I’m not 100% sure if this is true or a urban myth, but I love the cute story anyway.

Wedding Planning Mini Milestone Champagne Labels

Wedding Planning can be tough, and long, and stressful and expensive. So it’s important to take breaks and celebrate the mini milestones that you tick off on the wedding planning checklist and celebrate with your fiance or the girls, and Studio B Label Co have the perfect way for you to do this.

“Studio B Label Co make wedding planning even more fun with their custom Engagement Milestone Mini Champagne labels! The bride can celebrate every stage of her engagement and wedding planning with a mini bottle of bubbly! Perfectly sized to fit mini split champagne bottles, this label is personalized with the bride’s name.  Done in a bridal white label with black and hot pink text (customisable), each label is printed on weatherproof stock.  Just peel and stick!”  As you can see from the two photos below there are a few different options for the stickers, but how cute and fun are they?

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