Category: Bride

Real Life Wedding – Leah and Keirin

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All you need is love … and a sneak peek at Leah and Keirin’s real life wedding.

Leah and Keirin Tutty

19/09/2015

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Meet Mr and Mrs Tutty

 

I was lucky enough to be the wedding celebrant as Leah and Keirin finally (after 19 years together) tied the knot. They were lucky enough to have their 3 children and closest friends by their sides as they exchanged their vows. You have to agree this venue is stunning, and needs absolutely no decoration. Here’s the run down on their dream day.

Bride: Leah Tutty

Groom: Keirin Tutty

Bridesmaids: Aimee and Samantha (Leah and Keirin’s daughter)

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Best Man: Ian

Groomsman: Dylan and Daniel (Leah and Keirin’s son’s)

Wedding Dress: From Watters

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Groom: Esquire Suit Hire

Bridemaid Dress: Pagani

Photographer: SVZ Photography

Hair and Make up: Arrum

Venue: Tropical Rainforest, Otago Museum

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Wedding Celebrant: Angela Port

Reception Venue: Alhambra Rugby Club

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Cake: Ka Pow Cakes

Music: Jumping Jacks, Jukebox Hire

Wedding Cars: 2 Black AP5s

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Wedding Colours: Green, Black and White

Ceremony music: “Nothing else matters” Metallica, “Signed, sealed, delivered”  “Ho Hey” Lumineers

Best part of the day: Just hearing the music start, and the moments after the ceremony when we felt relaxed and happy.

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Things I would have done differently: We had a small wedding, only 50 people, it was so hard choosing the guest list, if I could I would have added to the guest list.

Where did you get ideas/inspiration: OffBeat Bride site, Pinterest and just surfing the net.

How did you pick your bridal party: We picked out children and closest friends to be by our sides on the day.

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Best piece of advice you were given: From Grandma “Just do what makes you happy, bugger everyone else”

Advice to other brides: Make sure you have lots of reliable helpers to do the running around and any last minute things, so you don’t stress out on the day. Also make sure you eat, it’s a really long day!

Anything didn’t go to plan: We were late all day, hair and make-up, photos everything.

Thanks for sharing your special day Leah and Keirin, it was an absolute honour to play a small part in your big day.

 

 

 

Brides wedding day time line

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All you need is love and … a good wedding day time line.

 

 

Many a bride has been stressed out trying to figure out how to fit everything into the wedding day morning, and many a bride has been a tad later than she may have wanted to  be to the ceremony because of unexpected things cropping up, and everything taking longer than you expected.

Here’s a rough guideline for a bride and her girls to follow on D Day.  It may look extreme in terms of how much time has been allocated and the time things need to kick off, but it gives you some down time. And in my personal opinion isn’t it better to have time to sit around and hang with the girls than be rushing and stressing and getting flustered. This time line is based on a 3pm kick off.

9.00am – Sleep in, enjoy the time in bed, relaxing before the chaos of the day. Have breakfast, remember you’re going to need fuel to get through the day.  Make sure you keep your fluids up too (and I don’t mean champers!) it’s going to be a long day.

 

9.30am – Shower and wash your hair (although you may want to check with your hairdresser first, sometimes slightly unclean hair is better for up do’s than clean hair). Put on a button down shirt, or a dressing gown, something you’re not going to have to lift over your head later when you get dressed.

10.30am – Hairdresser arrives.  You may want to start by getting your hair down first, that way if it takes longer than expected, the hairdresser won’t be rushing with your hair at the last moment.

11.30am – Make up starts. You may want to decide whether you want yours done first or last (to make it last longer). My opinion is to get the bride’s done first, that way you know you and/or your make up artist isn’t rushing.

12.30pm -Photographer arrives at the grooms to take photo’s of the groom and the boys getting ready.

1pm – Photographer arrives for shots of bride and her girls getting ready. They will want to take shots of the bride by herself, but also shots of the dress, shoes etc.

2pm – Mother of the bride leaves for the venue. Groom and the boys leave for the venue.

2.30pm – Bride leaves with her girls and her dad.  This leaves time for photo’s of the bride arriving at the venue.

3pm – It’s wedding time.

 

This is a brief run down, you may want to ask your hairdresser/make-up artist and photographer what they think about the timing.  You want to make sure you have more time than you think you’re going to need, in my experience everything will take longer than you think it will.  Nothing is going to ruin your day more than being stressed out about running out of time, and keeping people waiting.

A day in the life of a celebrant

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All you need is love and … here’s what a saturday looks like for a celebrant.

So generally Saturday’s are game days for me.  That is wedding day for most couples and while a bride is getting herself made up and sipping champagne, and a groom and his boys may be sneaking in a round of golf, this is a run down on how I prepare.

Gym

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Every Saturday morning starts with a 6.30 session at the gym.

Coffee

coffee

 

The best celebrants are fuelled by coffee.

Paperwork

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Checking that everything is sorted, filling in the date and address of the venue, making sure that I have everything, and then I pack it all into an envelope ready for the ceremony.  Checking that I have my pen, incase the couple don’t have a special one they want to use for the signing of the licence.

Practice

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I always practice every ceremony 4-5 times, running through the entire ceremony, paying special attention to timing, and jokes and pronounication of names.  Doing this means that I feel completely comfortable with the ceremony.  I also practice with the microphone to make sure I can juggle it and the folder, and rings etc.

Testing the tools

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Testing the public address system, making sure it’s charged up, making sure the volume is set correctly (it needs to be changed between inside and outside) checking the batteries in the cordless microphone, running all the songs for the wedding through to make sure the volume is correct and songs are all in the right order on the playlist.

Packing the car

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The car gets packed up, with everything I’m going to take. PA System, bag of essentials (paperwork, microphone, water bottle, lollipops etc) The car always gets a bit of a wash the day of the wedding, it is my mobile business card after all.

Getting dressed

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I pretty much always wear black to weddings.  When I meet with a couple in the planning stages I always ask what colour theme they are going with, this determines what I will wear. I wear black so that I don’t stand out, the attention needs to be on the bride and the bridesmaids.  If the bridesmaids are wearing black then I will wear another dark colour so I don’t look like I’m part of the bridal party.

Hair and Make-Up

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Not the same at the bridal party, but it’s important that I look my best, it is after all a wedding and I will be in a few of the couples wedding photos. I also make sure my toe nails are painted, because I nearly always wear open toed shoes.  It’s really important to me that I look my best.

On my way

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So after a double check that everything I need is loaded into the car.  I’m on my way.  I always arrive at least 45 mins before the service. I recommend to the groom and his boys that he arrive at the same sort of time, because guests will always arrive early to a wedding, and it’s nice for him to be there early to greet his guests and make sure everything is spot on.  I set up my PA, make sure everything is working properly, brief the MC on using the music system during the ceremony. I set up the licence, on the table where it will be signed, checking to see if the couple needs my pen or they have their own. Then it’s time to check with the groom to see if he needs help with anything, quite often I’m pinning on buttonholes, making sure all the boys look great. I usually get a quick word with the photographer when they arrive to check if they need anything, and to brief them if anything special is happening during the ceremony, sand ceremony, candle of rememberance etc.

Ceremony time

Sorry no photos of the ceremony, it was an unplugged ceremony, so I asked the guests to refrain from taking photos during the ceremony.

After the ceremony

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After the ceremony the photographer normally tries to get a group shot of all the guests, this is when I make sure all the paperwork is signed correctly, I place the couple’s copy of marriage licence into an envelope containing a copy of their ceremony and the cards that they use when they recite their wedding vows (as a keepsake of the day).  I then find the MC and give them this package to keep safe for the day, to give to the couple the next day. I pack everything up, and then have a little mingle with the guests, and go and find the couple to congratulate them and give them a quick hug.  I then make my exit, usually I get asked if I want to stay for a drink, but I think that a couple should celebrate with their family and friends, so I quietly leave.  Happy that I was able to share a couples special day with them.  It truly is a privilege, and I thank my lucky stars every time that I get to do this amazing job.

Mailing the paperwork

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The next day the paperwork is placed in the mail box, on it’s way to Wellington, to make the marriage official.  I always message the couple the next day to congatulate them to let them know their paperwork has been mailed and to make sure they are happy with everything.

So there’s quite a lot of preparation for me on a wedding day, alot of behind the scenes work that needs to be done to ensure that everything goes off without a hitch.

 

Why you need a Plan ‘B’

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All you need is love and … a Plan B.

This post is bought to you by the letter B, as in Plan B!

Sometimes as much as you plan your little heart out, the weather gods don’t understand and don’t play ball.  You can cross your fingers and toes and anything else you can cross, but sometimes it just doesn’t work in your favour.

It’s really important when you’re planning your wedding to have a ‘Plan B’, you may not want to think about it, or talk about it, or imagine it or dream about it, but it’s a necessary evil.  Your guests will thank you for it, in the long run.

When you are visiting potential venues, you may like to ask about what the Plan B option is.  Do they have somewhere where you can hold the ceremony if (god forbid) it’s not ideal weather?  Do they have somewhere onsite or will you need to have another location as backup?  As much as your heart may be set on an outdoor location in the sunshine (and as Kiwi’s we love a good outdoor wedding), you need to consider, if it’s threatening to rain on your day, do you want to be stressing about whether that downpour will will show its face  just at wedding 0’clock, also think about your guests having to traipse around on sodden grass in high heels, do you want your and your bridesmaid’s dresses dragging through mud on the way to the ceremony?  Do you think gumboots are appropriate footwear for a wedding?

 

Other things to consider: when are you going to make the call about the change of venue? Who’s going to make the call? How are you going to contact your guests, vendors, celebrant if you do need to change location? Do you need to decorate the back up location in a different way than your original location, what may work in one spot may not work in your alternative.

If you are having an outdoor wedding, you will need to nominate alternative location on your marriage licence, just incase.

It may be slightly devastating to not have your wedding in the location of your dreams on a warm sunny afternoon, especially if you have been planning it for a loooong time.  But what I say to all my brides is ‘remember what the day is about, it’s about marrying the love of your life, and at the end of the day that’s all thats important’

View from the front.

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All you need is love and … what the celebrant sees.

As a marriage celebrant I’ve been lucky enough to be a part of many weddings, and it is always an absolute honour and privilege to be present and to guide a couple into married life.  All the weddings have of course been different, some have been big affairs with hundreds of guests in castles, and some have been very intimate, with only a few guests, on the beach.  One of the things they all have in common is the feeling of love and happiness that hangs in the air and surrounds the couple, it’s quite magical to witness.

Lately I have  been open and aware to experiencing and noticing the different ‘looks’ that you always see at a wedding, whether it’s big, small, on the beach or in a church.

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Leah and Keirin pic by SVZ photography

Look 1 – This is the look that is exchanged between the groom and a flower girl and or ringbearer, especially if said flower girl/ring bearer is their own child.  This is a look of pride ‘that’s my kid’ normally the child is nervous and a little shy, but once they see their dad at the end of the aisle all that disappears and they break out in a smile.

Look 2 – This is the look exchanged between the bridesmaid and the groom.  Normally its a full on smile because she knows how fantastic the bride looks and knows how nervous the groom is and wants to reassure him ‘it’s going to be ok, and just wait till you see her.

Look 3 – The father/mother of the bride as they escort the bride down the aisle.  This look is pure joy, they are so proud to be able to escort her to her awaiting groom, sometimes a little sadness (their little girl is growing up) but normally big smiles.

Look 4 – That magical moment when the groom sees his bride walking towards him, sometimes there are tears, but in all the weddings I’ve been part of there has been a huge smile, a ‘she looks stunning, I can’t believe she’s marrying me’ type of look.  Its magic and one of the best parts of the ceremony.

Look 5 – When the couple are finally standing in front of each other at the altar, shes given her flowers to her bridesmaid, the music has faded down, they are holding hands and we’re ready to start.  When they get to look each other in the eye and know that their lives are about to change forever.  Usually it’s a giant smile, a little trepidation, and sometimes the giggles come out.

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Amber and Jeff pic by lisa reid photography

Look 6 – One of my favourite parts of my job is to witness the little things that make a couple, a couple. I usually suggest a couple hold hands during their ceremony. Some don’t but most do. And I think those that do love that feeling of contentment they get when they hold the others hand, almost a “OK I can do this now!” it seems to help with the nerves. I love it when I look down at them holding hands and one of them in gently stroking the others hands with their thumbs, it’s such an intimate and loving action to perform to re-assure the other “don’t be nervous, it’s just me you’re talking to”

Look 7 – During the ceremony I suggest to the parents that they sit on the opposite side to their child, that way they get to look at their own child’s face during the ceremony.  When I am performing a ceremony I look into the faces of the guests and I always see a look of pride and absolute love on the parents faces as they witness their child getting married.

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Emma and Malcolm Pic by Wedding by Melt photography

Look 8 – This is not always a look but more of a conversation, after I pronounce a couple married and they share their first kiss, we then step to the side and sign the marriage licence, this is normally the first time a couple have had a chance to speak privately to each other on the day, and usually it’s a ‘you look stunning/beautiful/pretty’ type of conversation.  It’s always lovely to see a couple standing together, arms wrapped around each other, normally a bit relieved because the ceremony is out of the way and they can now get to the party section of the day, just enjoying the fact that they are surrrounded by their favourite people on such a magical day.

These looks are the kind of things that absolutely make me love my job.  The fact that I get to witness these types of looks, emotions, love, tears, declarations and laughter and see couples who are pledging to love and care for each other all their days, it absolutely makes my heart sing.

Month two – from engaged to married.

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All you need is love .. and to follow are real life wedding

Sharmain and Jeremy

Month two

 

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The day before they became engaged people.

When you start the wedding planning process, usually the first couple of things that are decided are the date, venue and the budget. The budget generally determines the venue and the venue can in turn determine the date (if it’s already booked or not) which is turn determines the number of guests, style of the event, food, drink etc.

So this month has been all about the wedding ceremony venue, and after alot of discussion among themselves and friends and family who have been through the wedding planning process, we have a winner, and it’s locked in!!

When they thought about what was important in choosing their ideal venue Sharmain and Jeremy had to think about the guest list, and nearby spots for photo opportunities, they also want their dog to be able to be a part of the special day in some way, so they had to consider somewhere that he would be welcome at or where he could maybe be bought at some point of the day for some photos with them.  Possibly the biggest challenge when deciding on the venue was finding somewhere which they both liked, which was semi private (no random strangers walking in) and a place that none of their family members had gotten married at before, there has been alot of weddings in the family in the last few years, so this was easier said than done.

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This handsome fellow needs to be part of the ceremony

Because they were lucky enough to find the venue, view it and then book in, they have actually moved the wedding date up by a year, (yes it’s all about to get real, real fast!)

They have decided on who will be in their wedding party, but have yet to actually ask everyone, and have been lucky enough to secure one kick-arse celebrant (me) for the day.  Sharmain feels like everything is nicely falling into place .. so far.

‘Save the date’ cards will be sent out to friends and family who will need to travel to attend the wedding shortly and once whe’ve told our friends and family the date and venue, it will be all go.

The next big decision will be the reception venue, they are yet to decide between two different places, but that’s another blog post.

When it’s all too much

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All you need is love and … how to elope!

Sometimes it all gets a bit too much.  Maybe every man and his dog is putting their two cents worth into your wedding planning, maybe the two of you are constantly arguing, maybe the mother in law is being well.. a mother in law, maybe the costs are spiralling out of control, maybe you’re looking at each other and thinking ‘maybe we should just elope?’ You definitely wouldn’t be the first people to have these thoughts and you probably won’t be the last.  So here’s the skinny of whether it’s a good idea for you and some things to consider when you’re making the decision about running away to get married.

 

  • Prepare yourself for family and friends reactions- You will probably be on the receiving end of some strong reactions from your loved ones.  You need to be steadfast in your decision and not apologise.
  • Take care of the legal details – Different countries have different rules and legalities when it comes to marriage, make sure you are aware of the requirements for the area you are getting married.
  • Make a list – Make a list before of all the important people you will want to contact on the day, after you get married, parents, siblings, best friends, and make sure you call them to let them know the news before you make a larger announcement.  It will lessen the impact and surprise if these important people know first.
  • Send out a marriage announcement – Maybe when you get back from your honeymoon or just your wedding day, make a more formal announcement, most people do this on Facebook etc to let the rest of your people know that you got married.  This means that people that came to your engagement party etc know what’s going on.
  • Don’t down play the day – Just because it’s not the big white extravaganza, doesn’t mean that you can’t make it special and important.  You can still have a special dress/suit, maybe a favourite meal/bottle of bubbles, whatever you like to make the day special and memorable.  Remember it’s still your wedding day.
  • Get good photos – Photos are all you will have left of the day, because you won’t have many (if any) guests, so take the time and expense to get good photos of the ceremony and day.  It helps the guests that didn’t get invited feel better if they can see photos of the day.
  • Post wedding party – You can opt to have a post wedding party when you get home, to celebrate with family and friends.  This will be more relaxed than a wedding would be and you still get to share this special time with your closest ones.

No doubt whichever way you do it, you will still hurt people’s feelings.  But remember that your wedding day should be about you and your love and your lives together, not petty bickering and jealousy among those important to you.

 

Real Life Wedding – Helena and Michael

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ringsAll you need is love and … a real life wedding.

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Helena and Michael

16 – 3 – 2013

Port Chalmers Town Hall, Dunedin, New Zealand

Wedding Dress: Bought Online – I did have some issues with the dress not being entirely the same as the picture on the internet site, and the flowers, one of the features I especially loved about the dress, needed to be re-made by a seamstress before being refastened to the dress.

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Bridesmaid Dresses: EziBuy

Photographer: Robert Jones

Hair: Petrina McFarlane  MakeUp: Lisa Leslie

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Grooms Attire: Volcom Stone Suit (Pinstripe)

Shoes: No 1 Shoes

Celebrant: Grace Ockwell

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Flowers: Artificial (Black with a  diamante pin)

Cake: Stir Cupcakes, choc and red vanilla cupcakes

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Catering: Just Essence

Best part of the day: Exchanging the wedding vows. As well as exchanging wedding vows between the two of us, Michael also presented Catie with a special signet ring and made some promises to her, she didn’t know what he had prepared so that made it extra special to both her and I. There wasn’t a dry eye among the guests at that stage of the ceremony. Definitely a special moment among the three of us.

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Anything you would do differently: Video the day.

Ideas, Inspiration: Bridal Magazines, Internet, Pinterest.

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Colours: Black and White (Michael’s sports team colours)

How did you pick your wedding party: Sisters and close friends.

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Best piece of advice: Don’t sweat the small stuff. Don’t try and keep everyone happy, you won’t.  It’s your day so don’t worry who’s toes you might step on

Tips for brides: Do everything, as much as you can online! Bargain hunt (shop around) Enjoy the day, because it’s over in a flash.  Don’t focus all your energy on the wedding day, it’s only one day, the marriage is for the rest of your life.  Get plenty of sleep the night before.

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Anything that didn’t go according to plan: the boys got lost on the way to the photo location, and the fridge broke down at the reception.  Was definitely the best day ever.

Alternatives to a flower wedding bouquet

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All you need is love … and an alternative to a wedding bouquet.

So maybe you’re not a big flower person, maybe you or your groom are allergic to flowers, maybe you want to save some bucks or maybe you want something that is going to last longer than 2 days.  There are tons of alternatives to a traditional wedding bouquet, many that can be adapted to suit your colour scheme and many that may be a better match to your theme/location than a traditional bunch of flowers.

Back in the day brides carried a bouquet of flowers to disguise the poor hygiene habits of old, when normal showering each day was not the done thing.  These days this isn’t really too much of an issue, but it is still a tradition many partake in, the carrying of a bouquet not the not showering!

Here’s a list of alternatives to the wedding bouquet, you can use them as your bridal bouquet or incorporate them into your entire wedding party.

  • Pinwheels – always look cute and fun, and are generally colourful, you can make smaller versions for the groom and his boys.
  • Lollipops – love the look of a bunch of giant lollipops tied with a colourful ribbon, can be tailored to your colour palette.

  • Succulents – group together a variety of succulents.
  • Sprigs of dried herbs and/or dried flowers – imagine the smell of a bunch of lavender or rosemary.
  • Feather flowers – look beautiful with wee diamante included.
  • Stack of favourite books – wrap a stack or even a single favourite book with some beautiful fabric ribbon.

  • Brooches – Brooch bouquets look stunning, you can even ask all your favourite female family members/friends to gift you a brooch that you can use in the bouquet, making it extra special.
  • One giant paper flower –  looks very striking
  • Origami flowers – or any origami shape pulled together into a bouquet would be lovely, especially paper cranes.
  • Giant pom poms – definitely fun, can be matched to your colour scheme, you could either use one giant pom pom or a bunch of them together.
  • Balloons – either fastened into balloon flowers or a bunch of helium balloons held together with a ribbon.
  • Button bouquet – these are becoming very popular and look stunning.

  • Lantern – either by itself or filled with foliage and/or a candle, would look stunning for a night wedding.
  • Fan – can be adorned with a little foliage, or a favourite poem, would be handy on an especially hot day.
  • Seashells – would be a perfect fit for a beach wedding.
  • Parasols – look awesome for all the bridal party.

  • Flower crown – if you’re going for a more boho look this would be ideal, with long wavy natural looking hair.
  • Corsage/flower necklaces – a corsage either worn on the wrist/upper arm or ankle keeps the hands free for all the hand-holding you’ll be doing on your wedding day.

  • Metal wire bouquets – use think stainless steel with beads or diamante for a definite showstopper.
  • Paper butterflies – would not look out of place at a garden wedding.
  • Pinecones/Fruit/Vegies – For something completely different.
  • Paper flower – you could have them made out of pages from your favourite book, or love poems, or maps, if you love to travel.
  • Felt or fabric flowers – can be made to suit your colour scheme and will definitely last.

and the last and definitely my favourite a large dollop of candy floss, imagine the smell as you walk down the aisle.

All you need is … to keep calm on your wedding day.

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All you need is love and … to keep calm on your wedding day.

We all know weddings are stressful, especially if you’re a bit of a control freak, like me. You have that overwhelming feeling that no one is going to be able to do it properly except you.

Here’s some tips to keep the stress levels down and let you actually enjoy your wedding day.

  • You don’t have to please everyone – your day is about you and your groom, not your mother in law, not Great Aunty Fanny, but the two of you. Make sure your wedding day reflects who you two are.
  • Keep communication lines open – if you’re nervous, let someone know, if your feeling overwhelmed, let someone know.  You will be surrounded by loved ones on your wedding day, tell someone how you’re feeling so you can get help if you need to.
  • Delegate – you picked your maid of honour, or bridesmaids because you trusted them right? So now is when you call on them to help you out. Make sure they are aware of your expectations on the day.
  • Look after yourself – make sure you eat the morning of your wedding, breakfast and lunch.  Make sure you stay hydrated.  Get some exercise in the morning if you know that will make you feel better.  Take some time to yourself among all the chaos, to just breathe and reflect.
  • Have an emergency kit organised – make sure your bridesmaids know where it is and who’s responsibility it is to take it with you. See previous post https://angelaport.com/2015/10/03/all-you-need-is-a-wedding-day-emergency-kit/ for what should be in your emergency kit.

 

  • Remain focused on what’s important – it’s not just an expensive party, you’re getting married !!!
  • Pace yourself – it’s going to be a emotional, long day, filled with friends and family.  Don’t drink too much before you even get to the wedding ceremony.  Remember it’s ok to take some time for yourself or for the two of you to sneak away for a quiet moment together.
  • Have an itinerary/timeline of the day – make a detailed timeline of the day, who’s going to do what, when etc, and make sure everyone has a copy of it, especially the groom. It will make everyone feel a lot more relaxed on the day.

 

  • Make some “Call anyone except the bride” cards – these cards list contact details of everyone who has responsibility on the day. It means you won’t be contacted if the flowers don’t get delivered, or great Aunty Fanny gets lost, let someone else handle that.
  • Plan B – at the rehearsal, decide who will make the call if Plan B needs to be executed, due to weather etc, then that person needs to contact anyone who needs to know about the change in plans. Decide at what time the decision will be made, so everyone’s on the same page.

Remember everyone you have invited to the wedding loves and cares about you, so only want the best for you. They won’t mind if things don’t go according to plan, or you cry during the ceremony.  Just relax and remember it’s not just a wedding it’s a marriage you’re creating.