Tag: dunedinweddingplanning

Month two – from engaged to married.

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All you need is love .. and to follow are real life wedding

Sharmain and Jeremy

Month two

 

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The day before they became engaged people.

When you start the wedding planning process, usually the first couple of things that are decided are the date, venue and the budget. The budget generally determines the venue and the venue can in turn determine the date (if it’s already booked or not) which is turn determines the number of guests, style of the event, food, drink etc.

So this month has been all about the wedding ceremony venue, and after alot of discussion among themselves and friends and family who have been through the wedding planning process, we have a winner, and it’s locked in!!

When they thought about what was important in choosing their ideal venue Sharmain and Jeremy had to think about the guest list, and nearby spots for photo opportunities, they also want their dog to be able to be a part of the special day in some way, so they had to consider somewhere that he would be welcome at or where he could maybe be bought at some point of the day for some photos with them.  Possibly the biggest challenge when deciding on the venue was finding somewhere which they both liked, which was semi private (no random strangers walking in) and a place that none of their family members had gotten married at before, there has been alot of weddings in the family in the last few years, so this was easier said than done.

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This handsome fellow needs to be part of the ceremony

Because they were lucky enough to find the venue, view it and then book in, they have actually moved the wedding date up by a year, (yes it’s all about to get real, real fast!)

They have decided on who will be in their wedding party, but have yet to actually ask everyone, and have been lucky enough to secure one kick-arse celebrant (me) for the day.  Sharmain feels like everything is nicely falling into place .. so far.

‘Save the date’ cards will be sent out to friends and family who will need to travel to attend the wedding shortly and once whe’ve told our friends and family the date and venue, it will be all go.

The next big decision will be the reception venue, they are yet to decide between two different places, but that’s another blog post.

Celebrant Secrets

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All you need is love and … some insider info from a celebrant.

shannon and sean
Shannon and Sean

I’ve been lucky enough to do a job I adore and have been the celebrant at a lot of weddings, and every single one, I try and learn something from, especially the one’s where things maybe don’t go according to the plan.  I thought I would put pen to paper, or fingers to keyboard in this case and share some of the things I’ve learnt to assist you in your wedding planning.

  • There will always be someone who turns up in jeans, regardless of the dress code.  My personal belief is that there are only two occasions where you should show your respect for an occasion and dress accordingly and that is a wedding and a funeral. Unless of course the dress code is super casual (eg jeans and t-shirt) you should always put on a nice pair of pants.
last chance
http://www.etsy.com
  • There will always be that one person who thinks it’s funny to say “There’s still time to run” to the groom before the ceremony.
  • Make sure your dress fits properly.  Make sure it is tailored specifically for your body, so you don’t have any gaping areas, or are not worried about ‘the girls’ accidentally falling out at any time.  It will look better for photos and you will feel and thus look better if you know it fits perfectly.
  • Make sure that grooms/groomsman have ironed their shirts and not just pulled them straight out of the packaging moments before the ceremony, and in advice from another celebrant you can read about here: People we love: Nicola Wall – Celebrant, make sure the gents have also tried on their pants, to make sure they are the right length, especially if they have been tailored for them.

    Every bride looks beautiful on their wedding day

  • Allow a lot more time for everything the week and day of the wedding, everything will take longer than you anticipate, in my experience with brides, especially hair and make-up. It will be easier to fill in extra time (think a sneaky champers with the girls) than to be in a panic because you are late. If you are having your photos before your ceremony then making sure you have budgeted enough time in the morning will make sure you have ample time to relax and get those awesome photos.
  • Weddings bring out the worst in people.  Especially family. Make sure everyone is on the same page with duties and expectations, otherwise it will drive you crazy and take the shine off your wedding.

loll

  • Lollipops are awesome distractors for little people on the big day during the ceremony.  Lollipops encourage them to generally stand still and they find it hard to make too much noise with their mouth full of lollipop.
  • Even the most chilled out bride will be stressed the day before the ceremony.  The key is to be organised, not just yourself but your groom, family and wedding party.
  • Don’t leave writing your vows till the day/evening before your wedding. It will put too much stress on yourself and make your celebrant tear her/his hair out.
  • Remember your wedding day should be a reflection and celebration of your love, not what great Aunty Fanny thinks you should have.
  • Have a plan B, just in case.
  • Every wedding is beautiful, whether it is big, small, expensive or on a budget.

I am absolutely honoured every time I get to bring together two people who have decided that they want to spend the rest of their lives together.  Every wedding is full of love and joy and those looks that lovebirds share with each other, and it makes my heart sing to be able to witness and share that each time.

Real Life Wedding – Helena and Michael

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ringsAll you need is love and … a real life wedding.

brideandgroom

Helena and Michael

16 – 3 – 2013

Port Chalmers Town Hall, Dunedin, New Zealand

Wedding Dress: Bought Online – I did have some issues with the dress not being entirely the same as the picture on the internet site, and the flowers, one of the features I especially loved about the dress, needed to be re-made by a seamstress before being refastened to the dress.

helena

Bridesmaid Dresses: EziBuy

Photographer: Robert Jones

Hair: Petrina McFarlane  MakeUp: Lisa Leslie

michael

Grooms Attire: Volcom Stone Suit (Pinstripe)

Shoes: No 1 Shoes

Celebrant: Grace Ockwell

entrance

Flowers: Artificial (Black with a  diamante pin)

Cake: Stir Cupcakes, choc and red vanilla cupcakes

cakes

Catering: Just Essence

Best part of the day: Exchanging the wedding vows. As well as exchanging wedding vows between the two of us, Michael also presented Catie with a special signet ring and made some promises to her, she didn’t know what he had prepared so that made it extra special to both her and I. There wasn’t a dry eye among the guests at that stage of the ceremony. Definitely a special moment among the three of us.

catie

Anything you would do differently: Video the day.

Ideas, Inspiration: Bridal Magazines, Internet, Pinterest.

tablesetting

Colours: Black and White (Michael’s sports team colours)

How did you pick your wedding party: Sisters and close friends.

weddingparty

Best piece of advice: Don’t sweat the small stuff. Don’t try and keep everyone happy, you won’t.  It’s your day so don’t worry who’s toes you might step on

Tips for brides: Do everything, as much as you can online! Bargain hunt (shop around) Enjoy the day, because it’s over in a flash.  Don’t focus all your energy on the wedding day, it’s only one day, the marriage is for the rest of your life.  Get plenty of sleep the night before.

weddingcar

Anything that didn’t go according to plan: the boys got lost on the way to the photo location, and the fridge broke down at the reception.  Was definitely the best day ever.

How to honour those who can’t be at the wedding.

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All you need is love… and ways to honour those who can’t be there at the wedding.

Weddings are special days. They are days of celebration where you surround yourself with those who you love and who love you.  Sometimes those you love aren’t able to help you celebrate your big day.

There are a few things to think about when deciding to how to honour the memory of someone special who has passed.

  • How fresh is the wound – how long ago did the person pass.  Have you and the guests had a chance to grieve privately before the event.  Will a special mention on the day be too much for you or your guests, and overshadow the joy of the day.
  • How much attention to you want to draw to the honouring -Sometimes too much attention will take the focus off the fact that it is a wedding and a happy occasion.
  • What’s most appropriate for the person – What’s the personality of the person you want to honour, would they want want a big fuss make of them?

Here’s some suggestions for elements you can add to either your ceremony or reception to bring attention to and honour your loved ones.

  • Wear something – wear something of their’s, a piece of jewellery or a tie would be perfect.  It could also cover your something borrowed.
  • Tribute in the ceremony program – If you are using a ceremony program you could add a small remembrance piece, or if you have a welcome sign at the entrance to your wedding space you could add something there.
  • Light a candle of remembrance – as part of your wedding ceremony you can light a candle of remembrance, or have a candle lit during your reception.

  • Photo table – use photo’s of important people to decorate a table at your reception.
  • Toast to their memory – you could include a toast as part of your ceremony of use their favourite tipple to toast to them during the speeches at your reception.
  • Reading/poem during the ceremony – have either the celebrant or a friend/family perform a reading during the ceremony and dedicate it to your loved one.
  • Favours – Use your wedding favours to celebrate that special person. Use a charitable donation (to their favourite charity) in their name as your wedding favours.
  • Moment of silence – add a moment of silence to your wedding ceremony, usually at the beginning after you walk down the aisle, to remember your special person.
  • Save a seat – leave a seat in the front row spare with their name on it, to honour where they would have sat.
  • Piece of clothing – sew a piece of their clothing into the inside of your wedding gown or into your suit jacket.

  • Charms – use photo charms or jewellery charms either in or on your bouquet so your loved ones walk down the aisle with you.
  • Hankerchief – use a loved one’s hankerchief to wipe away your happy tears on your wedding day.

  • Wedding shoes – place a photo or name of your special person on the bottom of your wedding shoes, so they can walk you down the aisle.

There are lots of special ways to honour those who you wish could be there to help you celebrate your wedding day.  

Starting the journey. From engaged to married.

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All you need is love and …to follow a real life wedding planning journey.

I’d like to introduce you all to Sharmain and Jeremy.

Sharmain and Jeremy
Sharmain and Jeremy

 These two love birds just got engaged and their journey from engaged to married is going to be a regular feature, where every month I will check in with them to see how the wedding planning process is going.

So let me tell you a little about these two. Sharmain is 22 and her fiance Jeremy is 31. They have been together for just over 4 years and engaged for 3 weeks.  They met at work where he hit her with a door (I’m assuming accidentally) and the rest they say is history.

Jeremy proposed to Sharmain while they were on holiday in Auckland celebrating their 4 year anniversary.  Sharmain has an absolute love of animals (we’ll probably hear more about that later) so Jeremy decided that proposing to her at the Auckland Zoo would be perfect. He felt that its a place they don’t have a chance to visit everyday (since they live in Dunedin) and somewhere they hope they can one day take their children back to. So after hours of wandering around the zoo,  just before the zoo closed, Jeremy told Sharmain to take one last photo at the tiger enclosure, so she took the photo and then when she turned back around to put the camera away, Jeremy was down on his knee. Pretty romantic move if you ask me.

So first Sharmain cried, as you do, then called her mother, as you do. Then Jeremy called his parents to tell them she was crying, apparently they had already been let in on his secret before they left for the trip.  So after some more texts and phone calls to close friends and family it was announced on social media, and then the whole world knew.

The Ring
The Ring

The ring came from Pascoes the Jewellers, and  Jeremy admits it was fairly easy to do a bit of window shopping and then sneakily purchase the ring due to the two of them not having the same days off work, and unknown to Sharmain she had been inadvertently  giving Jeremy ideas of styles she liked.

They haven’t set a wedding date yet, but are considering early 2018.  Which will give them plenty of time to hopefully have a relaxed wedding planning process. It’s important to Sharmain and Jeremy that they have an enjoyable and memorable day but that is still remains their wedding.

As part of the planning process Sharmain is hoping to get advice from family and friends who have been through the wedding planning process and has signed up to Pinterest ( like every good bride should) and is now a regular purchaser of  bridal magazines.

Each month we’ll check in to see how the process is going, what’s been done, how everyone’s feeling, if there are any issues etc.  I’m looking forward to seeing a real life wedding unfold.  Let the fun begin!

Best wedding planning advice ever!

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All you need is love and … the best wedding planning advice ever!

This wedding planning business can make even the most sane person a little (or lot) crazy.  Where do you think the term Bridezilla came from?  It’s so easy to get caught up in the hype, but here’s a list of a few key points to keep in the back of your mind, as you navigate your way to planning your big day.

  • Don’t get caught up in ‘perfection’ – don’t get so obsessed with getting everything perfect, in fact some of the best moments of the day can be when things don’t go according to plan, the flower girl who lifts her skirt up to show everyone her knickers.
  • Savor every moment, it will fly by quickly – take some time during the day to just breathe and take everything in.  Make sure you have a little time at some part of the day to have a moment with your new husband/wife to just revel in the joy of the day.

 

  • Prioritize – pick what are the most important elements of your wedding to you as a couple, and spend the most of your budget on those. Is it the photos, is it good music?
  • You can’t/won’t please everyone – the best/worst thing about wedding planning is that everyone has an opinion.  You are not going to make everyone happy, and you will do yourselves a disservice if you try to.  Remember it’s your wedding day so make yourselves happy.
  • Remembering whats truly important – it’s easy to get caught up in choc cake vs carrot cake, and completely forget that the weddings about you getting married to the love of your life.
  • Eat and Drink – Your wedding day will absolutely fly by and it’s important to eat when you can and keep up the fluids (not just the bubbles) if you want to be able to party into the night.
  • Only do things you can afford – don’t put too much pressure on yourselves financially doing things that you think you need to do just to impress your guests.
  • Start early/finish early – Start the planning process as early as you can, to give yourself time to get everything done and to minimise the stress, and finish as early as you can to give yourself time to relax and enjoy this time.
  • Delegate – Ask for help when you need it.  Communicate clearly as a couple what your expectations/jobs are for the wedding planning process.
  • Stand your ground- Don’t be pushed into something you don’t want just to keep Great Aunty Fanny happy.
  • Treat your bridesmaids as you would like to be treated – Make sure you communicate your expectations to each of your bridal party, to give them a chance to decide if they’re up to the job.
  • Invitations need more time than you think – Send out your invitations earlier than you think, and set your RSVP date earlier than you need to, and you’ll still need to chase some of your guests.  Make it as easy as you can to RSVP for your guests.
  • Have Fun – remember it’s your wedding day, enjoy it.

The role of a Master of Ceremony

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All you need is love … and a great Master of Ceremony

When I talk to a couple in the initial stages of their wedding ceremony planning I always ask if they have organised who will be their MC.  The MC is the person I will liaise with on the wedding day if there are any issues, and it is also the person who I give the couple’s marriage licence to after the wedding.  So when choosing your MC think about the person who you know will not leave the licence on the back seat of the taxi on the way home.

Why have a MC?

A MC will be like a ‘Person Friday’ on your wedding day.  They will be the person who will be the point of contact for any guest questions, any vendor questions, and ensure the smooth running of the wedding day.  They are not just for the speeches at the wedding reception.

How to choose an MC

  • Choose someone who’s personality fits the tone of your wedding/wedding reception. If you want it to be humorous/casual then choose someone who can pull that off, if you’re going for a more formal/traditional vibe then go for someone that way inclined, normally someone a little older.
  • Choose someone who feels comfortable speaking to an audience.
  • Choose someone who is organised and a good communicator, someone who can keep to your time line, and can communicate to event staff to ensure everything runs smoothly.
  • Someone with a can-do attitude, who is going to be OK pitching in to help when needed.
  • Someone who either doesn’t drink, can stay sober or can control their drinking, they need to be in control throughout the day/night.

How to be a stellar MC

  • Spend some time before the wedding, liaising with the bride and groom to create a time line of the day.  It’s a great idea to also be at the wedding rehearsal to make sure you have a good grasp on what’s going to happen. Make sure you know the names of the bridal party, parents, grandparents, it makes it a bit more personal.
  • Test the microphone before the reception, and practice using the volume and the acoustics of the space.
  • Make sure you are seated near the front so you don’t have to constantly move through the guests to get to the microphone.
  • Introduce yourself at the beginning, and a little spiel about how you know the bride and groom.
  • Be humorous, but appropriate, remember there will probably be grandparents/and or small children at the reception. No jokes about what happened on the stag night!
  • Introduce the speakers, and make sure you actually know who they are before hand, so you’re not aimlessly looking into the crowd after you introduce them.
  • Be able to go with the flow, sometimes things don’t always go according to plan, be able to roll with it.
  • Communicate with event staff, bride and groom, parents etc. Make sure every one knows what’s going to happen and when.
  • Be the point of contact for event staff, you may need to be able to perform last minute errands, if someone forgets something, or you run out of juice etc.
  • Stay relatively sober.  No one wants to listen to a slurring MC.
  • You will be the person to make announcements during the day, family photos, social media requests, when dinner is served, introducing the bride and groom, cutting the cake and the first dance.
  • Make sure the guests are aware of the house rules at the beginning of the reception, where the toilets are, smoking etc.

It is an honour to be asked to be a MC, its a big job which can definitely have an impact on a couples wedding day.  Think carefully when choosing a MC and think carefully before saying you’ll do it.

Nailing those thank you cards

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All you need is love and … a way to say ‘thank you’

The jobs and etiquette of a wedding doesn’t stop once the day is over.  You will come home from your honeymoon all newly wed and smiley and be faced with getting those thank you cards out.  It is important to thank all your friends and family for their time, generosity and their thoughtfulness on the day.  After all they helped you celebrate your special day and they are the people who are helping you build your life as a newly married couple, surely that deserves a thank you card.

Thank you notes also act as a confirmation that you received a gift that may have come in the mail, it lets the givers know you received their gift.

There’s some tips to make the process simpler

  • Keep the list of addresses when you do your invitations, because you are going to need those again when you do your thank you cards.
  • Keep a list of who gave you what, either before the wedding, or give someone the job of noting it (making sure cards are firmly fastened to gifts) at the reception.
  • Order thank you cards when you order your invitations. www.bemyguest.co.nz/ does beautiful personalised wedding stationary.
  • Save yourself some time by writing thank you notes as the gifts come in before the wedding, it’ll be one less to do after.
  • Ask your photographer to take a photo of you with a ‘thank you’ prop, (either a sign or bunting etc) on the wedding day to use as a thank you card.
  • Don’t try and write them all in one sitting, you’ll get writers cramp, and make sure you share the job with your husband.
  • Wedding thank you notes should be hand-written, and make sure you address the giver by name and reference the gift they gave you.
  • Notes should go out within 2 weeks when the gift is received before the wedding and within 2 months after the wedding, unless you’re lucky enough to be on a 6 month honeymoon, and then lucky you, but you’ll still need to get them done when you get home.

 

  • There are many ways you can do thank you cards, you can just do a thank you card in the same suite as your invitations, and you can order them at the same time, or you can use a wedding photo as a postcard as a  thank you, or you can take a photo on the wedding day with a thank you prop which you can use as part of the thank you card.
  • Don’t forget you’ll need to purchase stamps to send them all, make sure you budget for postage.

Putting pen to paper – how to write your wedding vows

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All you need is love and … advice on writing your wedding vows

Legally in New Zealand a wedding ceremony only has to have one part to satisfy the ‘powers that be’ and that is the ‘I do’ piece. Everything else if totally up to you, so you can perform an interpretative dance if you feel the need ( I quite often offer that option to people, but usually they so no, not sure why)  I generally structure a wedding with welcome, love story, vows, I Do’s, ring exchange, husband and wife, kiss, party!

Your wedding vows are very personal, it is the part of the ceremony where you are speaking directly to your beloved, not the guests. I describe it as the part where you share your gratitude to the other person and your promises for your shared life ahead. They can be tricky and most people struggle with them, use your celebrant to give you some pointers, and to proof read them before you commit to them.

Things to consider when writing your vows:

  • Decide on the tone of the vows – are you going to write them together, or separately? Are you going to keep them secret for the big day? Are they going to be funny or totally serious? Are they going to be the same or totally different?
  • Read as much inspiration as you can get your hands on – the good thing about Uncle Google is that there are wedding vows all over the place. Spend some time having a look on-line and making a note of what you like.
  • Think about the future – how will your vows sound 10,20.30 years from now?
  • Pinterest – it will be your best friend in this situation, tons of inspiration there.
  • Questions to ask yourself – Why are we getting married? Where do I see myself in 10, 20 years from now? How does your partner inspire you? What do you miss about them when they’re not around? What surprised you about them? What have they taught you? What challenges have you met together? What did you think when you first saw them?
  • Don’t leave it too late – Yes you think you’ve got tons of time, but it will run out pretty quickly when planning a wedding. Don’t leave it till the last minute and be doing it the night before.
  • Vows are just for you and your partner – sure everyone is going to hear them, but remember that you are speaking directly to your loved one.
  • Vows should sound like you.  There is no point copying someone else’s long love poem if that is not really you.  Your partner will appreciate it more if it comes from your heart and sounds like you.

Remember it’s your wedding day so do it your way.

All you need is … a wedding day emergency kit.

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All you need is love and … a wedding day emergency kit.

If only these were real, everything you need in one handy place.                      Essential wedding day swiss army knife

Sometimes things don’t always go according to plan.  That’s why you pack an emergency wedding day kit.  Sometimes the sh*t hits the fan and you need something to wipe it off you to get on with the day.  I’ve compiled a list of what I think are the wedding day essentials.

Panadol (or other pain relief)

Band Aids ( clear, not novelty, no one wants to get married with a batman bandaid)

Breath mints (for that all important first kiss)

Cash (just a small amount, you never know)

Chalk (it covers up last minute wedding dress smudges)

Comb/Brush

Safety pins

Dental Floss

Hairclips/ Hair spray

Wet Ones (or even better a travel pack of baby wipes, they get everything clean)

Make up (for touch ups, you make up artist should give you what you need for the day)

Needle/thread (or a small sewing kits)

Lint roller (no one wants to walk down the aisle with cat fur on their dress)

Nail file/Hand cream

Tape (I find duct tape fixes everything)

Rescue Remedy (to calm those nerves)

Tissues and cotton buds

Tweezers

Some sort of snack (muesli bars – not the choc kind, raisins, dried fruit etc) to keep the energy up, you often forget to eat when getting ready

Sunblock (especially for an outside event)

Water bottle with straw (very important to stay hydrated)

Obviously there are a lot more things that could go on the list, but I think this list covers all the basics.

There are a lot of places where you can buy these already made up and packaged in beautiful bags ready to go, or you can definitely DIY it yourself.

Bridal Emergency Kit Wedding Day Survival, Bride Wife Fiance Gift, Note Card for Groom, Bridesmaids, Couples Bridal Shower, Congratulations

CloverKit wedding day emergency kit

This great kit is available from CloverKit on Etsy

Make it the responsibility of the maid of honour to have  the bag in the car on the way to the venue and then again after the ceremony available on the way to photos and to stash it somewhere discreet at the venue so all the bridal party know where it is if it’s needed. It’s one of those things that you hope you’re not going to need, kinda like car insurance, but you’re glad you have it, if something happens.